Alice and the White Rabbit

Alice and Her Pool of Tears


Hello hellooo everyone and welcome back to the best show on television.  Of course, we have another exciting segment again today because our good friend, the White Rabbit, will be back with us to give us some juicy information about our young Alice.   If you'll remember, we left off yesterday with Alice having just eaten the cake in Rabbit's house (which I ingeniously placed there!), which made her multiply in size.  Well, we promised Rabbit we'd be prompt in bringing him out here, so with no further ado, please welcome Rabbit!

(applause)

Cheshire Cat:  Well hello there, Rabbit, and welcome back.

White Rabbit:  No time for long greetings, Cat.  I really don't have much time today.

Cheshire Cat:  Always full of surprises you are, Rabbit.  Surely you have time to tell us what happened next to Alice after she accidentally enlarged herself by eating the cake?

White Rabbit:  Oh, you mean the cake you left there, Cat?  You really are such the annoying trickster.  Actually, Cat, I'm not really even sure why you had me on as a guest today, when you are the one who is around at all times, bringing yourself in and out of visibility.

Cheshire Cat:  (chuckling)  This is true, Rabbit.  I really just had you on because you are so cheerful and ALWAYS such a treat to have on!  Well, back to the story.  Poor Alice seems to be quite the simpleton, either that or she really does not know her English, because when she first realized that she was growing at a rapid pace, she exclaimed, "Curiouser and curiouser!"  I am quite the stickler for grammar, so I was forced to bite my tongue in order to keep myself from telling her that "curiouser" is not a word, even here in a mad place like Wonderland.  She began wondering aloud about however she was going to be able to put shoes on her feet when they were so far away, and she even began rambling on about how if she didn't treat her feet well they wouldn't take her where she wanted to go anymore!  The poor girl just speaks nonsense when she's in a predicament! 

Does everyone remember the little door in Rabbit's house that led to the beautiful, mysterious garden?  Well, Alice tried to squat down to look through it again, but being so abnormally tall, she was forced to lie awkwardly on her side and peek through, with no hope of fitting so much as her pinky through.  Of course, being the crybaby that she is, Alice proceeded to cry gallons and gallons of tears!   She looked quite foolish, I must say, as I was there watching the entire time.  This is where Rabbit here came back into the picture.  Would you like to pick up from here, Rabbit?

White Rabbit:  What?  Oh, yes (looking at his watch), but I really haven't much time!  I was running late, as usual, for a meeting with the Duchess, and the LAST thing I was expecting to find upon coming back to my house was an oversize young girl standing in my hallway!  I was minding my own business and trying to get my stuff together for my meeting with the Duchess, so when she finally got my attention, I flipped and ran away as quickly as possible!  I dropped one of my expensive white gloves and hand-held fans in the process, and that Alice has yet to return them to me and it was one of my favorite pairs of dress gloves! I'm not really sure of what happened next, because, as I mentioned, I ran as quickly and far away as possible.

Cheshire Cat:  Yes, Rabbit, I do believe our young Alice still has that glove and fan of yours.  She started to cry again after you ran away, but after composing herself and fanning her face with your fan and cooling herself down, she realized that she had absent-mindedly put on your glove, which made her realize that she had shrunk back down rapidly, or else that glove of yours would never have fit.  She realized that it was your fan that was making her shrink, so she dropped it to avoid shrinking away altogether.  Now she was the perfect size to go through the door to the garden, but of course, she left the key on the table again!  When she stopped to really notice everything around her, she saw that she was floating in what appeared to be an ocean in Rabbit's house!  She thought about it aloud for a second, and it clicked that she was, in fact, floating in the tears she wept when she was a giant! 

White Rabbit:  Yes, and I am STILL drying out my furniture from her nasty, salty tears and trying to flatten the pictures she ruined with water damage.  I really have no more time, and besides, hearing this story only makes me angry.  It seems that I really was of no assistance in telling this story; I think you could have handled it just fine on your own, Cat, since you were apparently there the whole time and didn't even try to help me clean up after the stupid little girl.  PLEASE bring your head back, CAT!

Cheshire Cat:  Haha, well, it is always such a PLEASURE to have you here, Rabbit! 

Stay tuned next time, kiddies, because our next guest will be a real treat!

Author's Note:  I retold Alice's Pool of Tears from an outsider's point of view, someone who was present for the whole scene.  I tried to make it apparent that the Cheshire Cat and the White Rabbit really do not think much of Alice.  The Cheshire Cat kind of feels sorry for her and gets a good laugh out of her, while the White Rabbit just gets annoyed, especially since she flooded his house!  I continued to show the animosity between the Cheshire Cat and the White Rabbit.  The Cheshire Cat is supposed to be a true trickster, and he has the White Rabbit on today just to annoy him.  The White Rabbit is so obsessive-compulsive about time and comes off as really offended by the Cheshire Cat's annoying antics.
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Back to my Coverpage
On to The Caterpillar's Advice


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Picture of Alice and the White Rabbit.  Web Source:  O.C. Register.

 Book Title:  Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
Author:  Lewis Carroll
Year Published:  1865
Web Source:  Alice's Adventures in Wonderland



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