Back to Political Parodies
Bill Mahar and the
Politically Damned
By: Johanna K. Best
Bill Maher was surrounded by
the politically damned, each whining about their failed careers. One politician stood out among the
rest. Al Gore was still angry
because
of the dispute over his lack of personality.
Bill Maher had exacerbated the problem with jokes and satires
about
Gore’s issues. Maher felt bad because
he was a liberal and wanted Gore to win.
He asked for forgiveness and told Gore that the liberals mourned
the
loss of a great political leader, but Gore was still too bitter to
forgive
him. Bill left him there because there
were still many damned politicians he wanted to speak to.
Then Maher saw the Chairman
of the Democratic National Party, Terence McAuliffe, sitting with his
golden
political poll pronouncing judgment over the politicians, who were then
herded
out of Washington.
Next Maher saw Gray Davis
stretched out on Hollywood Boulevard.
He was surrounded by political vultures that were picking away
at his
political policy, for he had run California into a budget crisis.
He also saw the fate of Ted
Kennedy, who stood in a lake of booze up to his chin.
He was dying to quench his addiction, but could never reach the
booze. Whenever he reached down to
drink, the booze dried up and vanished, so that there was nothing but
dry sand
left, parched by the spite of the Democratic Party.
And he also saw Senator Gary
Condit at the endless task of rolling a stone up the hill of political
scandal. For, he will forever pay
for
the disappearance of Chandra Levy.
After that he saw Bill
Clinton, who was feasting with the gods of political scandal. The politically damned were screaming around
him like confused voters unsure of which hole to punch.
He looked tired, sitting with the paper
forever looking for a scandal to solve.
Around his neck was a tie like no other; it was adorned with
stitching
depicting all of his great political conquests, many of which were
women. The man who made that tie, try as
he might,
could never recreate it, for no other had such conquests.
Bill Clinton recognized Bill Maher at once,
and asked him if he was leading the same sorry life that he had. Clinton went through an eternity of
suffering because he became enslaved to a woman, who made him do all
sorts of
labors. She sent him to campaign for
her to get elected to political office, for she felt there was nothing
harder
she could ask him to do. Yet, he
succeeded for his political colleagues helped him.
After this he left Bill Maher
to go back to feasting, yet Bill Maher remained incase any other damned
politicians came to talk to him. But so
many of them came to him uttering the stories with such cries as he had
ever
heard, that he was scared and fled from them.
He gathered his crew and went
back to his set where these politically damned would only be allowed at
his
discretion.
© Copyrighted by Johanna K. Best on 9-18-03