It's to the tune of "Stacy's Mom" by the uber-cool band, Fountains of Wayne. I wrote this for the general enjoyment of anyone who's ever had a TA, or been a TA. Just remember: that weird, geeky TA in your science lab is a person with hormon--err, feelings too.
TA Jon, you've got it
goin' on, you're all I want
and I've waited for so
long
Frat Boy can't you see?,
you're just not the guy for me
I know that it's so wrong
but I'm in love with
TA Jon.
I just know that you feel
me
from the way you graded
my lab report
you wrote 49/50, good
job
and it made me feel smart
(that didn't actually happen, i think he actually wrote 'useless' on this graph I made, but hey, it sounds better)
Even though my heart is
speeding
yeah, I know that it's
not a vector
and you know it drives
me wild
the way you wear your pocket protector (again doesn't really
happen)
TA Jon, you're kind of
grumpy
in that way that most
physics guys are
but I know that I could
melt
your heart at standard
pressure = 1 barr
The function of your
cuteness is e^x, and
not to mention,
that I'd even go with
you
on a date to a Star Trek
convention
TA Jon, you're now immortalized
in song
the universe might end
but I'll wait for you
that long
I'm a sorority girl,
and that's where I belong
but don't kid yourself,
I'd still hook up with
TA Jon.
Pretty bad, huh?! I especially like how I butchered the rhyme scheme in the fourth stanza. Did it make any sense? No! But it was fun to write! Now, gentle viewers, it's your turn. Submit your stuff, ya heard!?