What Professors Say...and What
They Really Mean
| When professors say this... | They really mean THIS! |
| This needs some minor revision. | I never actually got around to reading this. |
| My office hours are by appointment only. | I like to get out of here early. |
| Ten percent of your grade is based on class participation. | I'll be fudging your grades. |
| This won't be on the test. | Nap time! |
| Bring the text to class. | I don't have a clue how to lecture -- we'll just kill time with group read-alongs. |
| Talk to the department secretary. | Get lost. |
| Talk to me in my office after class. | Get out of my face. |
| The tests will all be multiple-choice. | I take questions directly from the study guide and have grad students do all my grading. |
| The final will be comprehensive. | I'll expect you to recapitulate in two hours everything I couldn't fully cover myself in 15 weeks. |
| Everyone will prepare in-class oral presentations. | This course is outside my specialty -- I'll just bluff it and let YOU teach. |
| There are two TAs available to help you. | I can't be bothered. |
| This year I'll be scaling the grades. | I just passed tenure review. |
| Let's break up into quiet discussion groups. | I have a hangover. |
| Let's have class outdoors today! | I had beans for lunch. |
| You won't be able to sell the text back to the bookstore. | My contract wasn't picked up. |
| Please note the last day to withdraw | The midterm's gonna suck. |
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