Tips for Surviving College
- Minimize food budget by scheduling classes around Happy Hour.
- Enjoy being a Sophomore -- It will be the best three years of your
life.
- Earn extra cash by parlaying chemistry knowledge into lucrative
"home pharmaceuticals" business.
- If an 8:00 am class is required for your major, change your major.
- Boring lecture? Start a wave!
- College-level algebra: 5 returnable bottles = 1 delicious Ramen
Noodle dinner.
- "I Phelta Thi" is *not* a real fraternity, except at
state colleges.
- Remember - almost no one complains when you puke in a dumpster.
- Clever margin manipulation can turn a 4-page outline into a
100-page senior essay.
- Football games were never meant to be observed by sober people.
- Don't think of it as sleeping with your professor -- think of it
as "acing Biology."
- In a pinch, milk can be used as a beer substitute in your
breakfast cereal.
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