How to Identify a College
Student
- Masters the art of writing a paper during the commercial breaks of
"Friends".
- Gets excited when they find a dime that someone carelessly left in
the soda machine.
- Makes a hobby of calling their friends while in a drunken stupor
and leaving explicit messages in their answering machines.
- Is a senior and is STILL confused by the bus system.
- Ponders the thought of changing their major to "pizza".
- Has less then $4.50 in their bank account at any given time.
- Would have no clue if we were at war with another country, or if
the President had been assassinated.
- Lives on a diet of Mountain Dew and Doritos.
- Begin to talk to themselves and "twitch" a lot during
midterms and finals week.
- Will stand in line for half an hour waiting for a computer just to
check their e-mail.
- Begin to believe that Ed McMahn might really award them
$10,000,000.
- The ATM machine is their best friend.
- When they have an 8:00 class, they set alarm for 7:50.
- Wears a hat to class more than four days a week.
- Half the time you wake up and you aren't in your own bed, and it
seems normal.
- You begin to consider Taco Bell "real food".
- You realize that if you hang dirty laundry out the window, it's
good for at least three more wearings.
- It's the highlight of your day if you get mail, even if it's
Columbia House wanting you to join - AGAIN.
- It's not out of the ordinary to have Professors that come to class
smelling like a shot of Jagermeister.
- You can fall asleep anywhere - in your bed, on the floor, in the
grass, oops...I guess you might call that one passing out after a rough night...
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