Three Pigs

The Three Little Pigs

Now, do you think differently about Cinderella? I thought so.

Remember how I was telling you about the different characters that have been in here? Well, I told you that some of them are bad. This room right here used to belong to the Big Bad Wolf from the Three Little Pigs. Now, the story that you know is all wrong. I didn't know him before he walked in my door but, that wolf is definitely big and he is very bad. And yes, he goes by "Big Bad Wolf." He has got to keep his rep up in prison, you know?

What the storybooks don't tell you is that the Big Bad Wolf was actually a house inspector back then. He was mean and was known for shutting down orphanages, hospitals, police stations, and everything else he could. He loved the power. He also really loved demolition. The Big Bad Wolf would use pests, bulldozers and even cut down trees on the building to bring it down. This was a long time ago and laws were a little, well, different than they were today. What he was doing was technically legal, although highly frowned upon. So, you see? He had a horrible reputation before he even met the three little pigs.

Now, as you know there were three little pigs and they each built themselves a house. One was made of straw, one of sticks and the last on was made of bricks. When the Big Bad Wolf came upon the first house made of straw he could immediately tell that it was an unsafe structure. He went up and pulled out a chunk of the wall. While holding it, he got an evil idea and ran to the mayor's office. When the mayor saw that someone in his city had actually built a house out of straw, he laughed. The Big Bad Wolf and the mayor chatted all day and by dusk, a new law had been passed. House inspectors could now legally burn down houses that were unsafe.

The next day the Big Bad Wolf went over to the little house made of straw and announced to the occupant that it was unsafe and that he was going to burn it down. The homeowner, or the little pig, just ignored the house inspector. The little pig inside continued on with his lunch and took another bite of his apple. So, the Big Bad Wolf took out his blowtorch and blew fire until the house was burned down. When the smoke cleared and the fire department left, the Big Bad Wolf could not believe what he saw! A perfectly cooked pink pig with a roasted apple in its mouth. Now remember, he is a wolf and it was lunch time. He just figured that the occupants left their lunch on the table, so he ate it.

About a month later, a new skin care craze had hit the town. Apparently potatoes and carrots were good for your skin and could solve all of your problems. The second little pig, as you know, built his house out of sticks. The Big Bad Wolf was waiting for the day that he was going to go and burn down that house. Unfortunately for the second little pig, he was trying out the new beauty craze and was bathing in potatoes and carrots. With his relaxing spa music blasting in the bathtub, he could not hear the Big Bad Wolf telling him that he was going to burn his house down. The house inspector took out his blowtorch and blew fire until the house was burned down. And this time, when the smoke cleared and the fire department left, the Big Bad Wolf could not believe again what he saw. A giant pot of boiling pork and potato soup! He did warn the occupants to leave so he figured that they had just left their dinner. The Big Bad Wolf ate up all the soup.

Now, as you know, the three little pigs were brothers. At this point, the two younger ones had been eaten. When the eldest brother found out, he wanted to get back at the Big Bad Wolf. So, When house inspector came to the third little pig's house made of brick he could immediately see many exposed power lines and electrical wiring. Before he could even start the blowtorch, he was attacked. The little pig ran out of his house with an illegal twelve gauge shotgun, 30-06 rifle, and a string of grenades. Naturally, the police showed up and arrested them both. While in the holding cell, the mayor retracted the burning unsafe houses law. A couple of weeks later on their court date, the little pig showed up in a wheelchair with a neck brace and thus won the sympathy of the jury. The Big Bad Wolf went to jail for arson, murder, and eating a fellow citizen.

Author's Note: I changed the story by making the Big Bad Wolf a house inspector. In Joseph Jacobs version, the Big Bad Wolf is just an evil character who wants to eat the little pigs. In my version the Big Bad Wolf does not know that he is eating the pigs. In fact, he just thinks that he is eating someone else's food. I kept the Big Bad Wolf big and bad in this version, but not for the same reasons as the original. In Joseph Jacobs story, the Big Bad Wolf blows the house made of straw and the house made of sticks down with just his breath. In mine, he uses a blowtorch. I decided to leave out a couple of very well-known lines such as "not by the hair on my chinny chin chin" and "he huffed and he puffed." These did not really fit in my story and I did not want to force them in. In the original story, the third pig tricked the Big Bad Wolf a few times and then ends up eating him. This is the less-known part of the story. I changed it to the third pig wanted to murder the Big Bad Wolf. The story fits in with my theme of the clinic and the Big Bad Wolf being too big and bad for the clinic to handle.

Story: The Story of the Three Little Pigs
Author: Joseph Jacobs
Book: English Fairy Tales
Year Published: 1890
Web Source: Sacre Texts Archive

Big Bad Wolf
Web Sorce: CoveringTheMouse

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