I will now give the floor to
Dr. Steven Knocks.
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I am here today to discuss with you
a relatively unknown disorder called dissociative fugue. Dissociative
fugue is a type of amnesia. It is typically brought on by a major
incident when away from home. It results in impaired social function
and confusion about one's own identity. Sometimes the
person simply does not remember who they are and other times they will
assume a new identity. This state of mind can last anywhere from a few
hours to a few months. The person is generally happy while in the
altered state of mind, but becomes stressed and distraught
upon the return of their memory.
I
will now tell you about a specific case of dissociative
fugue and how one woman recovered her identity.
I will refer to this woman as Sarah. Sarah was on her way to a funeral out of town when she lost control of her car and crashed into a tree.
The accident knocked Sarah unconscious, but caused her no physical injury. When she came to, she stumbled off the scene and finally found an abandoned house. This house was in an open field near the highway, occupied only by stray cats from the area. Sarah had lost the memory of who she was and what had just happened. Here, ladies and gentlemen, is where Sarah's case takes an interesting turn. She did not simply remain confused about her identity, but assumed a new identity. She saw herself as one of these stray cats. Sarah lived this way for two months. When she speaks about her experience, she says that she was very happy as a cat. Cats focus on the necessities of life and enjoying themselves. They find food and shelter and then focus their energy on being happy. If they want to take a nap in the middle of the day they can. Cats aren't always trying to one up each other. They aren't working for the better job, or nicer car, or bigger house. Cats don't even have a use for money. They provide what they need for themselves, or find a human happy to oblige, and require no more from life to be content. She looks back and realizes she must have done some weird things, like eating raw field mice and relieving herself on the floor, but overall she felt content.
I will refer to this woman as Sarah. Sarah was on her way to a funeral out of town when she lost control of her car and crashed into a tree.
The accident knocked Sarah unconscious, but caused her no physical injury. When she came to, she stumbled off the scene and finally found an abandoned house. This house was in an open field near the highway, occupied only by stray cats from the area. Sarah had lost the memory of who she was and what had just happened. Here, ladies and gentlemen, is where Sarah's case takes an interesting turn. She did not simply remain confused about her identity, but assumed a new identity. She saw herself as one of these stray cats. Sarah lived this way for two months. When she speaks about her experience, she says that she was very happy as a cat. Cats focus on the necessities of life and enjoying themselves. They find food and shelter and then focus their energy on being happy. If they want to take a nap in the middle of the day they can. Cats aren't always trying to one up each other. They aren't working for the better job, or nicer car, or bigger house. Cats don't even have a use for money. They provide what they need for themselves, or find a human happy to oblige, and require no more from life to be content. She looks back and realizes she must have done some weird things, like eating raw field mice and relieving herself on the floor, but overall she felt content.
Two months after Sarah had assumed
her new identity, she was seen by a driver on the very street she had
crashed her car on. Sarah was wandering the field, presumably hunting
mice, when a man saw her looking extremely disheveled. He went up to
Sarah and asked her name and if she needed any help. Sarah did not
answer him, but burst into tears. He rushed her to the closest
hospital. This is where I met Sarah, after being called in because of
my
expertise in amnesia. We used dental records and the accident history
report, at the time unsolved, to piece together Sarah's identity. Once
I called Sarah by name, her memory came back to her in a flood.
Surprisingly, to those not familiar with dissociative fugue, it was
upon her reintroduction to the human world that Sarah grew both
agitated and distraught.
Sarah has told me that when the man from the highway came up to her, something clicked in her head. She realized she was not a cat, but of the same species as this man. She felt disappointed in this discovery. Inside, she did not want to be human, but wished to be the cat she had been living as. After her full memory returned to her, Sarah was still very upset. She was bothered by three things. One, she felt bad for the pain and confusion her disappearance had caused her family. Two, she felt numb toward her family and had developed a dislike for the human race in general. And three, she felt judged by everyone around her because she still asserted that she liked life better as a cat. After being reintroduced into the human world, Sarah felt as though she no longer fit.
Sarah has told me that when the man from the highway came up to her, something clicked in her head. She realized she was not a cat, but of the same species as this man. She felt disappointed in this discovery. Inside, she did not want to be human, but wished to be the cat she had been living as. After her full memory returned to her, Sarah was still very upset. She was bothered by three things. One, she felt bad for the pain and confusion her disappearance had caused her family. Two, she felt numb toward her family and had developed a dislike for the human race in general. And three, she felt judged by everyone around her because she still asserted that she liked life better as a cat. After being reintroduced into the human world, Sarah felt as though she no longer fit.
Sarah did outwardly live life like
a normal human being, but never to truly feel like one. She ended up
getting her own
apartment, where she now lives with nearly a hundred cats. While she no
longer eats their food, she does still prefer the company of the cats
over that of any human.
Author's note: This story is a
retelling
of the part of Gulliver's Travels where he visits the land of the Houyhnhnms. Houyhnhnms
are horses that think rationally. On this island there are also Yahoos,
humans in a brutish and most uncivilized form. In Swift's version,
Gulliver arrives here after his crew mutinies and kicks him off the
ship. In my version, Sarah stumbles out of her own car and into a
different state of mind rather than an entirely different place. Both
Gulliver and Sarah feel more at home among the animals and develop a
dislike of humans that continues on for the rest of their lives. I also
changed the point of view from the first person, Gulliver, to third
person, Dr. Knocks, to fit within my frame-tale of a psychological
convention.