A
Date for the Dogs!
Still
undeterred from my recent dating disaster
with Terri, I decided to try my luck with a lady named Jessica. I
had met
Jessica at the gym. I know what
you’re thinking, but yes, I do have to
work
to keep in such awesome shape!
Anyways, I had spoken to Jessica a
couple times here and there. She seemed like a cool girl and I'm
sure she
would dig such a cool guy like me. After my last incident, I
thought it
would be best to have dinner at my place. Plus, I would be able
to show
Jessica my great skills as a gourmet chef! Jessica agreed to the
date and
we made plans for Saturday night.
Things were set for a great night. I had planned a wonderful
dinner and
stopped by Blockbuster for a romantic movie. I pulled out all the
stops
for this one; I even bought a twenty dollar bottle of wine! I
picked up
Jessica about 7:00 p.m. and headed back to my place. Things got
off to a
great start and everything seemed to be going as planned.
I served dinner shortly after we got back to my place. A mixed
salad with
vinaigrette dressing and a grilled filet mignon with brandy
sauce. I
didn't know she was a vegetarian! Oh well, at least she enjoyed
the
salad. We were enjoying a wonderful candle-lit dinner.
Everything
was going great up till this point...
I
missed a bite of my steak and it fell into my lap! Jessica
noticed
this and
started to giggle a little. I didn't think too much of it until
when I
looked down to clean up the mess and realized that my zipper was
down! I
calmly waited a moment for the right time to re-zip my pants. I
thought
it would be a good idea to come up with a distraction. Jessica
had her
back to the window, so I pointed outside and said "Wow, look at
that"! As she turned around to look out the window, I quickly
zipped
my pants.
In a flash, things were all good... or so I thought! Jessica
turned
back
around with a puzzled look on her face. I then looked outside to
see what
it was that made her give me this look. There were two dogs
outside in my
front yard getting it on! I couldn't believe it! I just
acted as if
I didn't see anything and kept eating.
After
dinner was over, I asked Jessica if she would like dessert. I
quickly rose from the table to clear off the plates. When I did,
the
tablecloth came with me. I had zipped up the tablecloth in my
pants.
Everything spilled into Jessica's lap, including the twenty dollar
bottle of
wine! She didn't take too kindly to me trying to wipe up the mess
from her
lap! I thought my homemade strawberry shortcake would make her
feel
better. Come to find out, Jessica is allergic to
strawberries.
Dinner was a bust, but I figured the
movie would make up for it. I explained to her I had rented a
great new romantic comedy that everyone had
been
talking about. Even though she was hungry and covered in wine,
she
agreed. I turned down the lights in the living room and put the
movie in
the DVD player. Just as I sit down next to Jessica to get
comfortable,
some hardcore porno starts playing on my TV! I don't know how
that got in
the Blockbuster case, but it did! I didn't know what to
say or do, I just
stared in disbelief.
Jessica was very upset by this time. I offered to drive her home,
but she
insisted that I call her a cab. She stormed out the door and
waited by
the mailbox until the cab arrived. I haven't seen her at the gym
since, I
think she quit going! So much for that date, oh well, there's
always next time...
Home
Cover
Page Introduction
Bibliography Information:
"The Dog Watch". Website: Snopes
Author's note:
I used a story from snopes.com to continue my disastrous dating episode
with my
poor guy. The story is unconfirmed on the website and has several
different versions. The original story takes place at the girl’s
parent’s
house. The original story is very short and only has a couple of
details. I thought the story was very funny and I really wanted
to use
it, but I needed to change it up so it would fit more with my
storybook.
The guy drops a piece of food in his lap and creates the distraction to
retrieve the food. The parents look out the window to see the two
dogs
getting it on. I used this part of the story and changed the
location and
some of the details. This scenario wouldn't have fit as nicely as
the one
I came up with. There are also some versions that include the man
getting
the tablecloth stuck in his zipper. I used both of these
situations in
this story to really create an embarrassing night for the guy.
Just to
top it off, I added the part about the movie. This was the
ultimate
surprise for the date and I thought was a great way to end the night
and the
story.
Image Information: Gym Guy: Stuff I Wanna Know Blog
Surprised Lady: The
Green Beauty Guide