Products of a +5 Flange of Wisdom

Jeffy-isms

What exactly is a Jeffy-ism? Webster's defines it as, "Deep wisdom understandable only to the pure-of-heart." Actually, no, Webster's doesn't do that, but it should. Well, maybe it shouldn't. Oh well.

On the more humorous side of life:

"Ya know, for someone so stupid, you sure talk a lot."

"Those are my crazy pills. They keep me from going crazy. Either that, or they make me crazy. I can't remember which. All I know is I'm afraid to stop taking 'em."

"I'm not paranoid, I'm aware."

"This is bigger than hermitage, this is Global Conquest."

"One of the most humorous things in the universe is to see the word 'intelligence' misspelled."

"Only slightly less humorous is to see the word 'ignorance' misspelled."

"Wait a second, I'm being cynical about being cynical!"

"Fortunately, I used my insanity to prove that I was in fact sane." - really happened, ask me about it.

"I used to look forward to getting up each morning. Now I look forward to going to bed every night." - wow, that's sad

"They say wisdom comes through suffering. Judging from experiences with school, I tend to agree."

"I think they should raise the voting age to fifty. It's a weird idea, certainly, but we should at least give it a try for a while."

"That's the bad part about being a cynic: you're always right."

"The world is a death-trap." - It's funny 'cause it's true! Nearly everybody on this planet gets killed in some way or another!

"Wanna ride the bull?" - girl at OU mechanical bull ride
"Nah, that's okay." - Me
"It's free!" - the girl tries to coax me
"So is suicide, but I'm not terribly interested in that either." - Me

"It's a good thing I'm a masochist, otherwise I'd be completely miserable."

"Sanity never was my strong suit."

"Mmm, all this talk about self-cannibalism is making me hungry." (I'd probably taste pretty good with the right marinade.)

"Good grammar is hot." (...and it is, too. The more I think about it, the more it's true.)

"I'm sorry for everything I've ever done. Even the good stuff. Especially the good stuff."

"That's what happens when you're not afraid of being poisoned to death."

after buying a whole bunch of groceries for only $10.

A little more serious, then:

"Patience is just apathy well used."

"We are all geniuses unto ourselves, but it is making ourselves understood which causes us to be geniuses unto others."

"When seeing the wisdom of maxims, why must people write innumerable volumes to explain themselves?"

"The house of knowledge is built with walls of ignorance."

"As long as there are leaders, there will not be true democracy."

"Anyone can make a quote, but they are a precious few who can create a good quote."

"Universal statements are generally troublesome."

"Colleges are just producing synthetic intellectuals. As if the real ones aren't enough."

"Imagining is by far better than thinking about the real world."

"Humanity is one big walking paradox. So smart, and yet so stupid. So limitless, and yet so similar. So emotional, and yet so logical."

"Humanity is so often threatened to become a victim of efficiency."

"Which is worse, being ignorant or mistaken?"

And my favorite saying of mine:

"Whatever works."
            --It just has such a nice double meaning to it. In the first place, it means, "Whatever is capable of working in this
        situation is fine by me." In the second place, it means, "Pretty much anything works and it doesn't matter." Hehe, I like
        it.

Other peoples's sayings that I like:

"How many clerics does it take to fix a light bulb?"

"One, he just has to cast 'cure light'."

"Hey, I spent all afternoon yesterday looking on the internet for jokes about the NSA. Know what I found?"

"What?"

"Absolutely nothing. And that really scares me."

"Arguing on the Internet is like running in the Special Olympics."

"Curiosity was framed; it was Ignorance that killed the cat."

"A cynic knows the price of everything, but the value of nothing."

--Oscar Wilde

"Reality is overrated."

--Nathan Crain

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