Well, well, well, I guess John had a birthday, too!


Now I was thinking, what should I do to commemorate the occassion?  Should I give him more physical possessions?  Or something more abstract that he could cherish for as long as I'm able to steal webspace from the college?  And how did I get to this gas station?  Where am I?

Everybody likes John.  He's a terrific athlete.  Of the pants.  Or something.



(Actually, we just tell him that.  If he ever gets mad, he turns green and starts smashing things.  It's like that superhero guy... you know, Batman.)





John offered to make his own birthday cake.  And by that, I mean he threatened the life of anyone who came in the kitchen while he was cooking.  He's very territorial about the stove, and don't even think about getting near the microwave!






John gained many scars that night in his battle with foods.  The eggs and butter tag-teamed him, wreaking horrible destruction on his OU t-shirt.  The crimson shirt bled cream, staying in form with the school colors.








It was about this time that Richard showed up and started messing around on Ashley's computer.  After being asked if he was ready for John's birthday party, he replied, "Who's having a what kind of what party?"  Good old Richard.









At last the cake was ready to be eaten.  Taylor and I were in charge of candles, and we tried to spell out "John rocks!", but it came out like the number "19".  By some kind of crazy coincidence, that's how old John was becoming, so we shrugged when they applauded our candle-skills.  "Ummm.... of course!  19!  Right..."
 








John blew out the candles with the fury of the sneezes of ten thousand camels.











He then received his presents, which consisted of a gift card to Target.  Here John is laughing, saying, "Target?!  Like I'd ever be caught dead in there!"

(Sorry for poking fun at Target.  It's just payback for their stupid commercials.)



After the first few bites, we were amazed at John's culinary ability.  We asked him what went in, and he said that even he didn't know!  It tasted good, but I started becoming a little concerned when the walls started melting.  I grew a little more concerned when I found an empty bottle of Quaaludes amidst the dirty dishes.  Fortunately, the happy leprechaun who crawled into my brain said everything was fine, so it's okay.






Here John crushed Taylor by accidentally sitting on her.  Luckily, there was a bicycle pump nearby, so, as every avid cartoon-watcher knows, we were able to inflate her back to life.







Bob sat outside muttering to himself about killing us all.  At least I think that's what he was saying.  Maybe he was just complementing John on the party.  Either way, a preemptive strike against Bob is necessary.





Feeling the effects of John's drug-stuffed cooking, Ashley thought she had better head home.  Moments later, she returned, remembering that this was her apartment.  Oops.







This picture was taken just after someone said something really, really funny, and everyone froze into laughter.  I'd tell you about it, but it'd take too long.  Well, maybe it wouldn't.  I dunno, I guess I could go ahead...  On second thought, it'd probably just be wasting your time, even though it was really funny.  Then again, maybe you'd get it.  Nah, nevermind.






Here we are playing the Star Wars Game of Life: A Jedi's Path.  We were a Wookiee, a Twi'lek, a Human, and a crazy guy trying to make our way through the messed up universe known as the Galaxy.  Taylor's character eventually fell on hard times and took up an addiction to spice.  Meanwhile, Tyler's character won the space lottery, but blew all his money on Outer Rim speculating.  Life's tough, man.




Here Richard got a mission, reading, "You are pitted against the vile legions of... I mean, uh, you receive a million credits and get to move to any space of your choosing on the board."  I was a little suspicious, but after he punched me a couple of times for trying to look at the card, I believed him.





Alas, I lost the game.  My character was narrowly defeated by Richard's Sith Lord Wookiee in an epic struggle of Energy points.  After contemplating leaping to my doom from the balcony, I finally settled down.  (It didn't help that everyone was shouting "Jump!  Jump!  Jump!")  Oh well, my character could come back in ghost form ala Ben Kenobi and aid the rebellion against Sith Lord Richard.






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