Bastianelo
"Well,
ladies," came a familiar voice through the door, "you'll be glad to
know that Marco and Maria - Bastianelo's parents - have reunited
and going to renew their marriage vows!"
"What?
I had no idea that there was any trouble in paradise!"
"You
must be kidding. The news was all over town!"
"Oh,
hush. Sit down and I will tell you ladies all about it! I just ran into
the wedding planner on my way to lunch. She had the whole scoop! It all
started on their wedding night."
"..well
that's no way to start off a marriage," called the crotchety old lady
from underneath the dryers.
"Tell
me about it! Anyways, Maria became so upset - I'd heard she had
one too many glasses of vino - and completely broke down at the
reception because she had a vision of herself having a child and naming
his Bastianelo and the child dying! She
sobbed and sobbed, the whole floor was wet with her tears. And pretty
soon her mother and father joined in the wailing. After all, they
didn't want
their only future grandchild to someday die! Well, her husband became
so
enraged that she was ruining their wedding that he said he was not
going to live with a crazy wife or have crazy in-laws, and the only way
he would return was if he found three people as foolish as the three of
them! And then ... HE LEFT!"
"NO!
He stormed out?"
"I
heard that once, but I didn't know if it was true!"
"Well,
ladies, it's true! He took the suitcase packed for his honey-moon and, arrivederci, he was off!"
"I
simply can't believe he left his new wife on their wedding night!"
"So
sad."
"It
doesn't stop there! The wedding planner told me that Marco was gone for
three months! He spent three months searching for three people whom he
thought were as crazy as his wife!"
"I
guess he must have gotten tired and come home!"
"No!
Believe it or not, he did find three people. Well, technically two
people and one whole town!"
"I
don't believe it, a whole town?"
"Yes!
She told me that the first person he came across was an old drunk
trying to get water out of a well with bucket filled with holes! Next
was a man
who was trying to jump out of a tree and into his pants because he
couldn't figure out how to put them on - it's simple really, one leg at
a time - and the third was a whole town ..."
"What?
You are making this up!" interjected a voice from the shampoo chairs.
"If
I am lying, let my gray hair show through my new color! And, by the
way,
thank you Lorraine, it looks lovely. Anyways, the town had a rule for
marriages that the bride could only marry if she could make it through
the entry way of the church while riding horseback... a silly rule, I
know, but
none-the-less. So the town was trying to decide whether to cut off her
head or the horse's legs! Can you imagine? What kind of rule says that
the bride can't marry unless she can pass through the doorway of the
church while riding a horse? Well, obviously, neither of
those options would have made for a good wedding, so Bastianelo's dad told the bride to
duck her head to fit under the doorway. And she did! And the wedding
went off without a hitch, or a stitch I suppose!"
"How
silly these people were! Surely he realized that an emotional woman,
like Maria, was
less of a problem than someone with absolutely no sense. After all, she
just wanted a healthy baby!"
"He
did realize it, he did. After he had seen the craziness in the world,
he came home
to his new wife and begged her to take him back. And she did, she truly
loved him! So now, the two of them have a healthy baby boy and they are
renewing their vows next weekend! Let's just hope they are happy with
one child, and she doesn't have any more visions..."
Author's Note: This story
was one of the more challenging stories that I decided to re-tell. For
one, it was the second shortest story I retold - so I apologize to
those of you who enjoy reading my 'on the brink of over-the-limit'
stories! In the original story there is a lot more detail about each of
the people that Bastianelo's dad who I named Marco meets along
his journey for crazy
people, whom he thought could compete for 'crazy awards' with
Bastianelo's mom - who I called Maria. However, I didn't picture the
characters in my story to be
sitting around bantering mindless details. These ladies are interested
in the news! Besides, they will only add their own embellishments
later, why trifle with the original details? This was also a difficult
story because of the subject matter. When I first read it, I discounted
it as a story I was not interested in. But after looking at it again, I
figured it would be a great story for the ladies at the beauty salon to
share! What beauty salon would neglect to mention a story about a
jilted bride and a runaway husband? Anyways, other than leaving out
some of the details, I stayed pretty true to the original story. If
you'd like to read it, here
is the original!
Book Title: Italian
Popular Tales
Book Author: Thomas Crane
Year Published: 1885
Web Source: Italian
Fairy Tales
