The 'Q' Word

It has been a nice day for James and Frank. It is 1400 and they have yet to run a call. Days like these do not come around very often, and James and Frank have enjoyed the down time. The pair spent the morning doing some deep cleaning on the station and ambulance. Since completing their morning chores, they were able to enjoy a large lunch.

With the chores completed and their stomachs full, the pair has moved on to relaxing in the recliners. A huge part of EMS is sharing stories. This seems to happen any time there is down time like there has been during this shift.

Frank and James share a couple of stories before Frank asks James, "What is the funniest call you have ever had?"

Smiling James says, "Oh. I know the answer to that without a doubt! It was before I transferred to Medic 12. I was working at Medic 6 when we were dispatched to an anxiety attack at the cemetery."

"The cemetery?!" asked Frank.

"Yes, the cemetery! We arrived on scene to find several police officers and a crying woman gathered around a gravesite. Initially, I thought maybe the woman's husband had just died and she was having a difficult time coping. As I approached the group, I could hear mumbling coming from the grave. Needless to say, this caught my attention."

Frank asks, "The dead guy was talking!?"

Laughing, James says, "Just wait; you'll see. So we get up to the gravesite to see a man lying in the open grave. Come to find out this gentleman had a history of enjoying his alcohol, most of the time to the extreme! The wife had become tired of him being drunk all the time, and carried him to the cemetery. She put him on the ground, hoping to teach him a lesson. As the gentleman began to sober up, the wife made an attempt to scare him. She knocked loudly on the gate to the cemetery, but instead of scaring her husband he only asked for another drink!"

Frank laughs, "Well, at least he is consistent! But how did he end up in the grave?"

James continues his story, "Well, apparently the wife became very upset that her husband had not learned his lesson. The two began arguing about how he would never change. Being so worked up, the wife began having an anxiety attack. A bystander found the woman and called 9-1-1. While we were en route, PD arrived and heard the man yelling. Apparently, he was walking and fell into one of the graves! So we had the female having an anxiety attack and the male who had fallen six feet into a grave."

Frank began laughing even harder, "What happened with this mess in the end?"

James finishing his story says, "We were able to calm the woman with verbal coaching. It took a little bit, but we eventually got the male out of the grave. He had sprained his wrist when he fell, so we transported him to the hospital. Like you said earlier, he was definitely consistent. He asked for a drink all the way to the hospital!"

Frank says, "Well, I guess some people will never change!"

James and Frank enjoy a laugh before Frank says, "I really enjoy it being quiet like this!"

James quickly stops laughing and looks at Frank with a 'I can't believe you just said that look.'

Frank asks, "What did I say?"

James answers, "You just said the 'Q' word! Do you have any idea what you just did?"

Before Frank could utter a response, he was interrupted by station tones:

*** BEEP... BEEP... BEEP *** "Medic 12 respond 4392 Sunshine Street for the chest pain. Medic 12 respond 4392 Sunshine Street for the chest pain. Time out 1449."

As the pair heads to the ambulance bay, James looks at Frank and says, "Don't ever say the 'Q' word! It is bad luck! We are going to be up the rest of the shift now!"

Apologizing, Frank says, "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

James smiles and says, "Now you know the power of the 'Q' word!"


Author's Note:

This is a retelling of "The Women and Her Drunken Husband" from Aesop's fables. This original story is of a women who attempts to teach her alcoholic husband a lesson by carrying him to a cemetery when after he passes out. She is hoping that he would think he was dead, but it does not work to scare him. The husband only asks for another drink. I used this story because I thought it would be a good change of pace from the more serious tone of the last two stories. This was also an opportunity to show how storytelling plays into the culture of EMS. I really did not change anything from the original story. I only retold the story through the medics. I did add him falling into a grave site as part of his drunken stupor. While this story does deal with the serious issue of alcoholism, it does have a humorous context. This also shows how James and Frank are becoming more comfortable with each other, while Frank continues to learn the smaller details and culture of EMS.

Bibliography:

Story: The Woman and Her Drunken Husband
Author: Laura Gibbs
Book: Aesop's Fables. A New Translation
Year Published: 2002
Web Source: Aesop's Fables