Morning Star & Aakii
This is Cindy Celestial recording this week's therapy session for
married couples. The first session of the week is with Morning
Star and
his
wife, Aakii.
They have been married for fifteen years and feel there is an invisible
wall
that has been slowly growing due to their lack of communication.
Cindy: Good morning. How are you two
today?
Morning Star: Great.
Aakii:
Wonderful. It's such a beautiful day that it's hard to have any
complaints.
Cindy: Yes, it is. But would you two be
here if there weren't
any complaints? (she smiles) Let's start from the beginning; how
did
you two meet?
Aakii:
(eyes lighting up) I remember when I was a young girl I'd sit on top of
this hill near my village and stare up into the sky with my
sister.
I'd close my eyes and escape to this other world where there were no
worries, just beauty, serenity, and never-ending happiness. Now,
I was
a young girl, sheltered by my tight-knit family, but my dreams were my
treasures and that spot on the hill was my only way to escape to those
riches I cherished so much. One night, the sky was full of
clouds. I
stared, searching for some window through the storm clouds. My
eyes
began to fill with tears and I hung my head, staring at my feet,
realizing that tonight was not the night for my journey through the
sky. Then, I took one last look into the heavens and there!-there
he
was (looks at Morning Star). I remember leaning over to my sister
and
whispering that Morning Star was more beautiful than any man and that
one day I would marry him. (smiles, more to herself) That
was the
first time I saw him.
Cindy: (to Morning Star) What about you?
Morning Star: (Smiling, he begins speaking in
a deep, husky voice.) Ahem, like Aakii,
my parents were very strict and sheltered me. Every night, I'd
emerge
in the east and watch over the land as far as I could see. I
thought I had seen every creature and plant imaginable. One
night, I
rose to my place in the sky, thinking it was just another ordinary
night. As I looked over the plains, my eyes fixed on this woman,
more
beautiful than any creature I had ever seen. Her hair blew
gently,
dancing with the light breeze in the air that night. Her eyes,
blue
like the color of the sky at dawn, looked up to the heavens with the
same longing that I felt looking down to the Earth, wanting just to sit
next to her
(sees his wife's eyes welling up with tears and reaches over to lay his
hand on hers). I thought to myself, how could I have missed her?
Cindy: (nodding her head and writing notes)
Great. I like to
start with that question to remind couples the reason why they first
fell in love. Now, I'd like to discuss this "wall" you both
described. I want you two to express all your complaints or
concerns,
big or small. Aakii, you go first.
Aakii:
(reluctant) Well, most of my "concerns" come from the fact that
Morning Star's job comes with great responsibility, but I feel he takes
me for granted. I cook, I clean, and I cater to his every
whim. He
rarely offers to help me around the house. Sometimes I feel like
I've
cared for two sons! Oh, and another thing, when we first got
married
we moved to live near HIS family without discussing that
decision. He
just assumed that I'd pick up and leave my home and family, which I did
and began to resent him for that. Now I'm worried that our son
will
never know where his mother came from and will never meet my mother,
father, or sister. And his mother is always breathing down my
back!
She tells me what to cook, what to wear, how to clean my house, and how
to raise my son. I know Morning Star is close to his parents,
especially his mother, but she cannot tell me how to raise MY son. I
feel outnumbered and alone sometimes. I know I have him and our
son,
but sometimes I want MY family close. (huge sigh)
Cindy: Okay, that's good, Aakii.
Now, Morning Star, it is your turn.
Morning Star: (in shock, pauses) I had no idea
you felt that way.
I never thought the move was such a big deal because I remember you
would sit on that hill and just daydream of escaping to some place
far. You never told me you missed your family so much. I
would never
prevent you from visiting them or our son meeting your side of the
family. I just didn't know! I thought you were growing
distant
because you were falling out of love with me or regretting getting
married so fast. I love you so much. I wish you would have
told me.
Cindy: That's very good. The main goal of this session is
to
get
everything out in the open. All too often, we just don't know
how to
let the other person know when something is wrong. Or we are
afraid of
their reaction. Communication is definitely the key, but
sometimes a
third party is needed as a liaison to mediate when things may get
heated. It sounds to me that you two will be fine as long as
these
concerns are taken care of. I'd just like to caution BOTH of you
about
"assuming" what the other is thinking or feeling. It never hurts
to
ask.
Loving Hands
Web Source:
flickr
Author's Note:
In
the
original story,
the girl is on the hill looking up at Morning Star. Morning Star
comes
to the hill to marry the girl after she expresses her love for
him. He
tells her that she cannot say good-bye to her family and quickly takes
her to his home in the sky. The couple have a son named
Star-Boy.
Later, the girl notices a large turnip and is warned by Morning Star's
mother, the Moon, to never dig up the turnip or unhappiness will
follow. Curiosity overcomes the girl and she is filled with
sadness.
Through the hole where the turnip had been, she sees her family and the
Blackfeet people.
In my story, I named the girl Aakii
meaning "woman" in the Blackfoot language, to make it easier to convey
the conversation. I used the hill as the setting where both
Morning
Star and the girl first expressed their love for one another. Aakii's
complaints in the story come as a surprise to her husband, which I
think is common in marriages. Often, couples do not realize that
they
are doing something wrong. Nagging mother-in-laws are also common
experiences with married couples, as well as the importance of a child
knowing where BOTH parents come from. Aaakii
and Morning Star's relationship is an example of how "assuming" what
the other is feeling may lead to more problems. Also, the couple
shows
that communication and appreciation of one another is the key to having
a healthy and happy marriage. These themes will continue to be
seen
throughout
this storybook.
Sources:
Canadian Wonder Tales (1917)
Cyrus Macmillan
Star-Boy and the Sun Dance
Native
Languages of the Americas: Blackfoot