You might be an Indian Jedi if...
You use the phrase, "May the force be with you, aye!!!"
Your Jedi robe is beaded
You use your light saber to butcher a buffalo or to open a Bud
At least one wing of your "rezzed out" X-wing fighter is primer colored and your transmitter is a clothes hanger.
You discover that Ewoks taste like dogs
You have at least one land-speeder up on blocks in your yard
The worst part of eating with Yoda is eating his commodity food
Wookies are offended by your Buffalo robes
You have used the force to get your tape recorder to work so you could record that new 49 song
Used the force to negotiate with the federal gov't
Your council man has told you, "Come over to the Darkside...selling out ain't bad, enit"
You have a dream catcher in the window of your land-speeder and/or X-wing fighter
You fantasize over Princess Leah's fry bread looking head
You have to get in from the passenger's side of your X-wing fighter and start it with a screwdriver
You suggest that the Millennium Falcon is outfitted with a trailer hitch
If you hear, "Luke, I am your father.....and your councilman."
TOP TEN REASONS TO BE AMERICAN INDIAN 1. You can point with your lips and give your fingers a rest.
2. You'll never be alone because everyone is related to you.
3. You'll never starve because there is always a feast of some
kind, somewhere, at any time.
4. We are the only ones who can save the rain forests with our dances.
5. You'll alway's know the first letter of the alphabet (Ayyyyy).
6. If you know how to "stomp" you'll always have a "snag".
7. Because Indians are just...somehow.
8. You can recognize the IHS dentures in Dances with Wolves.
9. You'll never need lotion when you have a greasy frybread.
10. Because "you just need one more number to cry out 'BINGO'."
'Skin Qualifying Questioniarre
Please answer the following questions.
Select only one item per statement that is true for you.
As a snaggeroo:
1. I am a snagger(male).
2. I am a snaggress (female).
3. Other (yikes).
My Age is:
1. Under the age of consent.
2. Over the age of consent.
3. Unwilling to consent to anything anymore.
Personal Profile:
1. I'm a skin. , I live on a Rez.
2. I'm not a skin. , I don't live on a Rez.
3. What's a skin? , What's a Rez?
1. I drive an Indian car.
2. I don't drive an Indian car.
3. I'll get my driver's license back after treatment.
1. I'm employed.
2. I'm not employed.
3. I don't have to be employed; I'm shacking up.
1. I'm single.
2. I'm married
3. I'm shacking up.
1. I own my HUD home.
2. I rent my HUD home.
3. I'm shacking up.
As a Tribal Member:
1. I'm enrolled.
2. I'm not enrolled.
3. I ain't been rolled yet.
As a Tribal Member (continued)
1. I'm a full blood.
2. I'm less then full blood.
3. I ain't no Blood. Or Crip, either!
As a Tribal Member (continued)
1. I intend to continue living on the Rez.
2. I intend to remain off the Rez.
3. I intend to return to the Rez after the statute of limitations on my Tribal arrest warrants
You have to love Indian Women...
1. ...for their ability to play rez ball , take care of 20 kids, and manage to make sandwiches at the same time when at a
basketball tournament.2. ...for their quick response to guys saying "shht, shht".
3. ...for any reason to say "Aye!" at the end of a joke.
4. ...for their ability to cram 20 people in one room at the Super 8 motel during a powwow.
5. ...for their ability to make commodity food taste like a 4-star culinary feast.
6. ...for their ability to make those breakfast/lunch/dinner burritos that we all love so much.
7. ...for their ability to expertly point with their lips at that fine grass dancer with the long braids.
8. ...for their ability to make a rez car look good.
9. ...for their ability to change a tire.
10. ...for those little hairs that always seem to stick up no matter how much hairspray applied.
11. ...for their ability to work wonders with bailing wire and, of course, duct tape!!
12. ...for their ability to keep sweat pants fashionable no matter what occasion.
13. ...for their ability to make that all-tourney t-shirt and shorts into the one and only Indian "swimsuit."
14. ...for their ability to stay out all Friday night at the Indian casino and still hit the early Saturday morning yard sales.
15. ...for their ability to make Black Lodge miss a beat with her long hair, shady brown eyes, and feather light dancing.
16. ...for their ability to lead all the round dance songs at Gathering's 49.
17. ...for their tendency to want to bead every clothing item of the entire family.
18. ...for their ability to give one "look" at their man to shut him up.
19. ...for her ability to go the store with those infamous pink rollers in her hair with not one hint of embarrassment.
20. ...for their ability to pee on the road side or behind any shrub no matter how small.
21. ...for their ability to somehow get her husband to ask for some of his money out of his own paycheck.
22. ...and last but not least for their wonderful ability to sneak 10 extra drumsticks of chicken and biscuits into their Tupperware
from the buffet in town to later feed the family.
Got anymore to share send em to me @:
mrsaynday@hotmail.com
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